And yet another way to scare the crazies away

I ran into my other normal and rather decent looking, single neighbor. I asked him about the crazy little asian woman and whether she had bothered him. We chatted for a few minutes. After I told him about her stare down in the laundry room, he replied quite casually, "Next time just walk around naked. That will teach her to keep on stalking you and not to be snooping around your windows."

"I want to scare her...not kill her," I said.

"Not likely," he said and opened his door smiling.

No makeup and sweaty from yoga. Oh, yeah baby....that's how I roll.

I hate my life

This is what my morning has boiled down to starting at 8 am:

• My 26 year old brother just got engaged to his 37 year old girlfriend of 6 months last night. The wedding is a week before my 29th birthday, May 2010.
• My best friend is moving in with her boyfriend that she stole from another girl. He thinks hitting on her friends is ok and acting like a child is acceptable, in addition to cheating.
• I am pushing 29 in 2 months, no serious dating let alone marriage proposals in sight, and fighting with my crazy Asian neighbor who might kill me with a knun chux and a chinese star dipped in poison.
• I have allergies so bad my eyes look like punching bags, my throat is swollen, and I can't breathe without my mouth gaping open.

This is exactly why my life sucks.

Neighbor mayhem

I live in an apartment complex. A very large complex to be exact. I pay A LOT of money for it...maybe too much. Before last Labor Day, I had a new neighbor move in. I had no idea my door was slamming loudly. After a heated door slamming, ceiling busting match, my neighbor kindly approached me and apologized. This, was my first decent encounter with her. As such, I made it a point to shut my door gently and be as good as a neighbor as was humanely possible. Seeing as I work anywhere from 8-12 hours a day, not including computer time, the gym, dog walking, etc. I am rarely home to cause noise in the first place. I travel from time to time as well which makes me the person who pays to live here but doesn't really live here all that much. She's come by on occassion since then and inquired about noise but since I don't stay here much I just politely nod my head in agreement and went about my way, trying to appease her need to discuss the noise issues.

This week my dearest friend and her husband came to scope homes and schools for their summer time move. (BTW, I am beyond elated at the thought of having them so close!) They too were not here for much of anything. However, the neighbor upstairs came down and knocked on my door after 10 pm. I opened the door and she explained I was being too loud. My husband/boyfriend was yelling and causing trouble. I kindly explained I had neither and that while I had guests, none of us were making noise. She continued on for almost 20 minutes about how she knew it was me and the other people in the building were annoyed, etc. I was starting to feel my blood pressure rise and working on not busting a gasket as she talked. I restated I had no boyfriend/husband. I work 50+ hours a week and my dog was not going to get any quieter. No one else had approached me or lodged a complaint. She finally left and I just brushed her off again.

Saturday morning, I opened the windows and shades so the sun could warm the house and patio. The neighbor was in the courtyard for 2 hours and I do mean 2 hours staring into my windows. I continued to ignore her and finally, she came upstairs and knocked on my door. She, in her polite and proper voice, called me a liar and said I did indeed have a man in my house. To this I politely replied, "why yes, I do. And last time I checked, you were not my mother and I did not need to ask you, yet alone any other person on this planet whether or not it was ok to have one in MY HOUSE." She raised her voice and continued on for a few minutes more. I leaned down, pointed my finger in her face and said, "If you have a problem, you need to take it up with management. I am not causing the noise you are talking about and am hardly even here. I refuse to have anymore conversations with you about it. Please go away NOW." I slammed the door, locked it and was fuming beyond words. I mean how dare she!!

I called the management and complained. 10 minutes later as we gathered our things to leave, I opened the door to find her there glaring at me and my guests with an eat shit and die look. I loaded my car up, went to the office, and lost it with the apartment complex management.

"If I EVER have this woman approach me, I will call the cops. I pay my rent, dog fees, and adhere to all the rules. I will not tolerate her craziness. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes. We do," replied the apartment manager.

"Good."

Now if I don't post for a LONG, LONG time, the crazy Asian lady upstairs might have attacked me with a Chinese ninja star dipped in poisonous venom.

Just in case....

Soul cleansing run

I went to the gym yesterday. The weather out here was fantastic and I just felt the need for a good run. I set the treadmill and started out slowly. I could feel the stress and craziness of the past few days melting away. I picked up speed as my arms and legs pumped in unison to The Bravery and White Stripes. I was rounding into mile 3 when I just started crying. Full on sobs. I couldn't stop running and that just propelled my crying. I don't know what it was. I looked like a lunatic. I didn't really care either. Whatever it was I just needed to get it out...to literally run it out of my body. I wanted to quit and I said no. Hell no. I kicked up the speed and pushed harder. My breathing became intense and my quads were on fire. Tears and sweat blurred my vision and I closed my eyes as I moved into a full sprint. I felt the belt slow and threw my arms up like Rocky, literally, as I shifted down to a jog. I was panting and red. I stopped the belt, bent over and breathed in deeply. It took me a minute to regain my composure.

The man on the treadmill next to me looked over curiously, and then continued his pace without so much as a second glance. I suppose most people get on the mill, start crying at full sprint, and proceed to collapse on themselves all the time....or just nutty people who don't address their emotions like me.

I never win

That's right. Never. I went into the grocery store last night. No hair. No makeup. Didn't care. Lo and behold grocery boy appears. We begin polite conversation. Still cute. Still sort of charming. Nice guy. He makes me laugh. I make him laugh. Intelligent conversation and witty banter. I'm thinking I'd like to get to know this guy better.

That's when I break the rules. I give him my business card with my phone # and say we should get to know each other better over coffee sometime. He drops the bombshell: I'm seeing someone. Sort of not surprised but definitely disheartened. I bounce back with a smile and say, "It's totally not like that. Just thought maybe you'd like to talk outside of stalking me in the store." His face is red. I think I might have actually embarrassed him. I check out and head home. Pretty positive this guy is never going to call or ever look my way again. Best to start grocery shopping somewhere else.

But he texts me saying thanks and he enjoys the conversation. I'm interesting he says and smart. He calls later and we talk for a little bit. Still funny. Still smart and really charming. I am totally ok meeting a nice guy to have a beer with and just chill. Lord knows I'm still pretty sketchy in the relationship department. Women can be such drama and I miss my carefree days when hanging out with friends were just guys who made me laugh and didn't care about my hair, makeup, or lack of girly attributes other than physical assets. (no offense: I just grew up with boys and was mostly raised by my dad. I sorta think like a man instead of a girl 95% of the time.) I tell him hey look if the girlfriend is going to be weird about you having a friend who happens to be a girl, I'm totally fine. He says it's not an issue. He's absolutely allowed to have friends who are girls and like to drink beer and watch sports. (Women tend to think these kind of girls don't exist and if they do they are either unsophisticated, ugly, and likely lesbian, which I happen to be none of.)

I say ok. He's off next weekend and would I like to get coffee after all......to which I reply......yes.
Enjoy the moment....right?

Truimphant I stand (for today at least)

I've always been a larger girl. Never a size 6 and never ok with that either. Over the past 8 months I have dropped 4 dress sizes. My secret? Blood, sweat, and tears baby. Nothing more and certainly, nothing less.

Today dear friends, after a full 2 weeks of PMS bloat, and literally throwing away perfectly good chocolatey delights of EVERY shape, size, and imagination... I have won.

I bought a dress from my company's European line. The European line is notorious for running small (up to 2 american dress sizes to be exact). For some reason, Europeans don't like to binge on carbs and cheesy ooey gooey goodness. Go figure. I bought the dress merely as an incentive to continue my battle of the bulge. An encouragement to by pass the ice cream and sugar laden treats on my quest to a swimsuit appropriate body (and my health...I suppose). I didn't expect for it to fit..but nevertheless, it fits. I can also breathe, which for those of you who know....can be a feat in and of itself, when you really, really wanna wear something that doesn't quite fit.

I'm so glad I chose to eat veggies instead of fried fatty goodness. Someone out there hold me to this when I lose my mind and want to sell my soul for some french fries in a few days. And I do mean days people.

deep reflections

I heard a song today when I was getting ready to go out this morning called "Consume Me," by a Christian band named DC talk. The guy is singing about feeling consumed by God like a fire burning thru my veins anytime, any place you invade my space. I stopped while putting on my mascara and just listened. I mean to stop mid-mascara is pretty darn important people.

It took me awhile to really digest those lyrics. You consume me like a flame burning thru my veins. I'm a music enthusiast of many different genres. I have been exploring more Christian music lately and I've noticed something about it in general. Their lyrics are so powerful. Not like others I've ever experienced either....I mean what they sing about truly burns from inside their hearts in a way I've never seen replicated in other musicians. I can hear a song and really connect with it weather it's a sugary sweet pop jingle or a guitar and drum laced rock anthem. Music will not make me cry unless I hear an symphonic piece. I just think a symphony is magical and beautiful in a way that is beyond comprehension to my soul. The same with art...I know, I'm a artsy nerd girl. I appreciate beauty in all its artistic forms people. I didn't grow up in a cave for the love of God. As I was saying, contemporary christian music can and has made me cry though (I'd like to say one glistening tear but that would be a bald face lie). I can't explain it. I've never necessarily been one to jam out to Christian songs, but again, lately....it's really resonating something within me that I don't even know that I recognize or acknowledge.

A question to the void....if anyone is reading: any similar experiences or am I looking at a trip to the pschiatrist?

Sweet Redemption

Every time I go to the grocery store, I look pretty God awful. Bad workout clothes. No makeup. I mean I don't smell but I'm not exactly looking hot to trot. And it never fails, I run into hot grocery boy.

Well tonight was different. I wasn't planning on going anywhere fancy but my friend called for coffee and I did my hair and makeup. We finished and I went to run errands and forgot today was the last day for the special they were running on bulk chicken at the grocery store. I went in and started doing some shopping and behold, the grocery boy appeared. YES! I do not look like dog crap. He approached with a smile and even remembered my name. He made interesting conversation for almost 10 minutes. He was so sweet and searching for questions about fashion since he knew who I worked for. It was nice until I felt bad and said, "I guess I need to let you get back to work, before someone gets angry." He smiled back and we exchanged goodbyes.

Ahhh...at least now he knows I do look like a decent woman with a little spackle and lip gloss. Mission accomplished. Next task at hand: get the digits. I'm starting to get my old reflexes back.