Brownies anyone?

I decided because I was going to the boyfriend's for turkey day, I needed to bring something to dinner. As my meemaw put it, "No self respecting girl shows up without something delicious add to the dinner or worse, with something picked up out of the grocery store." The disgust hung in the air. Clearly, a good girl must bring something and it must be homemade. Unfortunately, my cooking/baking skills have been the least of my priorities, especially since baking normally involves fat and chocolate, my kryptonite.

Nevertheless, I downloaded some recipes and settled on some classics: brownies and chocolate chip cookies. Who could do poorly with such great recipes? I made my list and headed to the store. 2 stores later and 1 scuffle later (a guy rammed his cart into me numerous times and then had the nerve to not even apologize...manners asshole?! Jeez), I came home and started the brownie recipe.

I carefully measured and followed the instructions as noted. Something was very, very wrong. The batter kept getting thicker and thicker. My little hand mixer motor struggled to blend the mix. Sparks from the hand mixer started and I shut it off immediately. What the hell do I do? I haven't baked in years. How do you thin this out?! Panic set in. I could feel the wetness under my arms. I thought for a minute and then scoured the fridge. Milk. Surely milk will thin it out. I was not sure. Fuck it. If it sucks, I will just have to make do with a Safeway pie. This is not the 1950s Meemaw. Modern girls don't have time for this. I took a swig of milk, said a hail mary, and then poured enough in the bowl until the batter had thinned considerably. I followed the recipe and threw it into the oven. 30 minutes in, I checked the pan. Still not done. 15 minutes later I could smell the chocolate and fat in the air. It must be done. I let it cool overnight and then cut them this morning.




They taste good to me. But I'm not sure the palate of a fat girl who could eat butter and sugar raw is good enough. The boyfriend will need to try and then be honest. I am not taking shitty desert to meet his parents and his 70 something granny from Alabama. Granny will surely expect something divine and Paula Deen worthy. She and Meemaw are old school like that.

On to the chocolate chip cookies. Ugh. The things we do for love.