life seen thru the eyes of a neurotic 20 something gal in search of something, nothing, and everything....but not all at once...I think.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Hello love?

This past weekend my best friend got into a serious car accident. He and I have been friends for so long. When I went to visit him this week it was so hard to see him unable to do the things I am so used to seeing him do. I wanted to cry. Somewhere in between helping him around and keeping him company, I realized I would just break in half if he was gone. I couldn't imagine not having him there. This whole thing, in addition to our sort of acknowledgement of our feelings for each other, has been quite an ordeal. I think I care about him a lot more than I have ever known or been able to acknowledge to anyone. It's scary.

Sitting on the steps of the gazebo with the dogs in the yard Saturday morning, I realized I could actually love this guy. When did this happen? What if I'm imagining things? This is uncharted territory and I feel lost.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Diarrhea of the mouth

Men should have a warning label that is clearly visible to all women. It should read:When it means something I promise the only words that will fall out of my mouth will be idiotic no matter how much I try to stop it. That way when it happens we won't be surprised. I was under the impression that if you were a true friend you might actually have sympathy for a friend in their time of need no matter how annoying, boring, etc. Clearly Lady Chicago has had an impact on this particular friend if you get my drift.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Someone thinks I rock afterall

Ok...so I was bawling in my car on Saturday. I decided after some relaxing cocktails to throw caution to the wind and suck it up. I have all my limbs and my health. I have a fantastic place to live and a roommate who is AWESOME. A little work stuff is nothing to lose your sanity over.

Turns out this week was better. I hired more help and I pray they are competent and useful. I had my boss give me a review and I got a raise! YAY!!! She thinks I'm fabulous and wonderful and said so on my paper. I feel like a little kindergarten kid who just got a super sticker for the first time. Doesn't take much to please me people. Now if I can just get my socks to wash themselves I think life might be just worth living again.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Being a woman sucks

Yesterday was a BAD day. My safe at work had to be busted with dynamite because the power supply got fried. The store was crazy busy and I had at least 3 customers jumping down my throat. It was tough.
Never been much of a crier, but when I got in the car I was boo hooing! The stress of the week hit me like a ton of bricks and I was so angry at myself. What businessman do you know cries? Thank god it was in the privacy of my own car. This is exactly when I decide that it indeed sucks being a woman. Who the hell cries about stress and ruins perfectly executed make up? I want my tear ducts removed and the estrogen lowered. This is getting outta control.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Estrogen is awful

Most days I am happy to be a woman, but lately I find myself wishing less of that estrogen was flowing. My best guy friend and I shared a very friendly kiss shall we say the last time we visited. No real action so don't get too far into the gutter gang. I find myself thinking about him and wondering what the hell is up with me being so damned touchy feely. I got all pissy cause he had to cancel our weekend hanging out and super jealous of his "business partner" who shall now be refered to as Lady Chicago.
It gets worse. I went to see my best friend from high school and she's married and preggers and I was all weepy and sentimental. I think the flow of estrogen is in overdrive, and frankly a little bothersome. I hope this emotional rollercoster ride will be over soon. I'm not used to such an influx and I feel weird. No one told me this is what being a woman is really like. Can anyone sympathize?
P.S. Just for the record Lady Chicago I think has an alterior motive. She is soooo not on my list of happy people these days. I'm psycho...right?