Freak out

Last night the boyfriend came over after his last class. He's been super stressed over finals and his paper. We hung out for awhile, walked the dog, and got ready for bed. I was so happy to see him. Lately, our schedules have been nuts so we've been playing phone tag, grabbing coffee and then splitting to go to the office, library, meetings and other stuff.

I climbed into bed and the poor guy was already passed out. I laid there for a few minutes before he rolled over and hugged me into his chest. For a few minutes I let my mind recall the last few months. How different things were this time last year. I never expected to meet this guy and now here we are not even 6 months into our relationship, taking each other to meet the our respective famililies. All of sudden, the thought of the impending "meet the parents" Thursday and the upcoming trip to Texas, made me feel panic. I could feel my body breaking into a cold sweat. I was having trouble breathing. Luckily, he was dead asleep or else he would have surely known I was having a private freak out in his arms.

All I could think was this is a big deal. It's what I hoped would happen to me...eventually. I just didn't think it really would happen.

I feel like I might have to be sedated to understand he's not a figment of my imagination. He remembers every detail I utter whether it's work stuff or about one of my girlfriends' newest crisis. I'm grateful and scared. It's been a long time since I wanted to be with someone so much I would settle for just hearing their voice or holding their hand. It's so scary to like someone that much.

One step at a time, right? Details to come on the impending meet the parents Turkey Day.