life seen thru the eyes of a neurotic 20 something gal in search of something, nothing, and everything....but not all at once...I think.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

The big 25

I knew today was going to be tough. After all I am turning 25. I had a baby shower and numerous events to attend in spite of being the birthday girl and to my dismay I had a shitty birthday.

At the baby shower of the year, my best friend and I suffered through the polite conversation and fake smiles we always afford to people we hate. Basically every evil and spiteful gal we had the unfortunate pleasure of going to school with was at her shower thrown by her unsuspecting inlaws. A nice gesture in many ways but absolute torture to the guest of honor and myself. I sat there listening to the hens chit chat about their upcoming nuptials, babies, new homes, etc and felt more and more like the lone ranger of single woman tribe. I've never thought that I wouldn't get married....just not now. I sank lower and lower each passing hour until at last we left.

I went to a few other events and each time...no boyfriend? This was then followed by a pathetic stare and the tongue clucking. I mean when the hell did being single become so similar to having leprosy?! I climbed into my car and all the way home to Houston cried. I have never felt so bad about not having a significant other. All the talk and looks just got to me. I used to be proud of being independent and confident. Today that image was snickered and frowned upon in such a way I was truly hurt. I had never seen my behavior as apalling as these people did.

I hate going home to that town. I hate that female independence there means you do not want a family or husband. Most of all, I hate that it ruined my birthday and made me feel like shit on this such a glorious day to celebrate.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

what did I do?

I am at a loss today. About 2 months ago I had some electrical work done at my place of business. Thinking there was no way the electrician was going to be anything to admire, I dressed down and went in without any expectations. To my surprise, he was HOT....I mean smoking hot. We had the store to ourselves for a couple of hours and while I did paperwork and he worked, we talked about everything under the sun. He was funny, sweet, smart, and an even bigger flirt than me. We joked about getting together. No numbers...no expectations.

He came back in to finish some work this week and again...the sparks flew. There was banter and flirtation heavy in the air. I mean God, if ever there was chemistry between two people, this was it. He said he would like to have dinner, drinks, and some good conversation and said he'd call. I accepted cautiously but with absolute joy. We got the parts he needed and when I called to schedule the work order his dispatch let it slip he was going to drop in "unscheduled." Never showed. Called today because my boss in training sort of barked about the fact that the work was not complete. I explained all the problems we'd had, the fire, etc. and called the dispatch again. He was surprised he had not showed and said he would call to remind him to stop in.

Never showed again.

I feel like he doesn't want to come in because of me. I thought someone asking you out meant they wanted to see you again. Did I do something wrong?

Monday, May 01, 2006

Luck is not on your side today

In between the blaring beeps of the alarm clock, I dragged my lazy ass outta bed and out the door to work. The day dragged on...and on.....and ON!!!!!!!!!!!! The conference call was so boring I nodded off. I got home after leaving early. I know, I know...cutting out early is not a good example but there are some perks to being the boss. In reality...I will make it up so don't sweat me people.

As I was saying, I get home and find out that I am going to partner with one of the other managers in my district. Would be ok, if I didn't think he was an absolute moron. Don't get me wrong. The man is nice I just don't like him as a person. I know he is underhanded and two-faced. Sorry, working with people like that never did nor has interested me.

The mature thing to say/do would be to smile and try to get along with him. Sorry to report I feel like an extremely immature asshole and just wanna pout. Maybe tomorrow your luck will be better.