life seen thru the eyes of a neurotic 20 something gal in search of something, nothing, and everything....but not all at once...I think.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Chances are....

if you told me I would find happiness 10 years ago, my laughter and dismay could have been heard round the world. But that is exactly where I found myself yesterday. Rob and I loaded the dog in the car and drove to the beach. It was a cool day warmed by the sunshine. We laughed and talked about our lives past and present all 2 hours we drove. We parked near a trail that wound thru the picturesque town and up near the sea cliffs. I stood near the railing and felt the cold sea spray and wind on my cheeks. I could see the ocean for miles and hear the crashing waves.

10 years ago, I was in a bad relationship, miserable and on the verge of a mental breakdown. I was exhausted and unhappy in ways that seemed incomprehensible at the time. It was the catalyst I needed. It pushed me out of my comfort zone and though, the journey financially, emotionally, and physically was far more arduous than I ever expected....it brought me here. I am healthy and happy in every aspect of my life as much as any human being can find themself.

Thank God I took a chance on myself. It was a risk worth taking if only to find myself.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

It hurts....

knowing someone thinks you're not good enough. Maybe it stings because I have never been on the receiving end when dating someone. Perhaps it's because, part of me wants to know they feel the way my family does...that I could find no one better to make me happy in this life. In this case, she thinks I'm not educated enough and I'm possibly after what money he might have. Right...lady, I just moved in with your son fully aware my family might disown me when they find out. I don't give a flying fart about what money you may or may not have. I am not chasing your son or pushing him. He ASKED ME to move in.

All week this has been weighing on my mind and heart. I told Rob it bothered me and he said so what. He has to live with me. She's a snob about crap like that anyway. I don't care. Besides, I still can't believe 7 months later you want to be with me AND share my stinky bed.

I suppose I will get over it. She had better too....