Bedroom Shenanigans

Getting a roommate or living with anyone else is tough. It takes time to find a balance and get things "situated." It's even harder when that someone is your boyfriend/girlfriend. Thus, the following transpired this week....

I came home from work thoroughly exhausted and ready for sleep. The bf came home late from class and tried to be quiet as I was beginning to drift off. 2o minutes later he climbed into bed. I assumed he would fall asleep. He was trying to get comfortable and started wiggling like a possessed person sprayed with holy water. one minute....two...three....my patience was wearing....four...four and a half...I couldn't hold it any longer.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"
"What?"
"Do you have ants in your pants? Is there something wrong with you? I mean you're squirming like a freaking worm about to explode."
"I'm just trying to get comfortable."
"Could you stop convulsing under the sheets...I was trying to sleep."

"Uh yeah....sorry."
Silence for about 3 minutes.
"Really sorry hun....can I get a good night kiss?"
"Yeah...I'm sorry too."

The next following night amid an intense debate over who's couch is uglier:
"I don't want that couch. The dog is going to pee on it. It's comfortable but it will stink," he says.

"Well, yours looks like a couch from a 1970s porn flick AND it's ugly. We are not keeping it." He turns his back to me and I notice his ass hanging out of his underwear.

"Why you gotta get all personal mooning me and such. I mean it's a couch!"
"WHAT?"
"Why you gotta moon me?"
"I am not mooning you."
"Uh, yeah you are." Heated exchange over whether his ass is hanging out or not.

He finally reaches his arm behind to find his bare ass and his face changes.

"Oh, I kinda am mooning you. Sorry about that."

Tell me everyone has nights like this when you first move in together.