life seen thru the eyes of a neurotic 20 something gal in search of something, nothing, and everything....but not all at once...I think.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


I did it...again. I changed my hair color. I couldn't help it. I was bored and needed a haircut. Somewhere between the a trim and different look I lost control. I threw caution to the wind and the hairdresser poured on the toner and bleach.

I am blonde....sort of. Think blonde with brown highlights. Not platinum. Honey.

I feel sexier...and like people think I might be dumber. They always look surprised when I am competent and not empty headed. Poor blondes....you really do get a bad rap. There are plenty of smart blondes like my pal Lisa. I may be a fake blonde but I plan on busting up the dumb element. Jeez....it's just hair color.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Death march for potato salad

This weekend I spent some time with my family in the country. As usual, they had the Last Supper strewn about picnic tables ready for summertime gorging. Having that much food at any time should be a crime punishable by stairmaster time.

Of course...we ate. we sat together laughing at impressions and jokes until our stomachs hurt and tears streamed down our cheeks. Then someone got an insane idea to go for an evening "stroll" to "burn calories" at 11 pm. After 9pm, you're stuck with the calories, friend. No 2 mile death march will eat away that potato salad. Oh, and death march it was. Pick up the pace and remember dessert. Listen people....I committed to the calories the second I opened my mouth this afternoon.

Faster....Jog faster....

I'm fatter...huh? Jogging making me delirious.

I can't feel my thighs. That's the last time I eat potato salad around those people.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Beach atrocities

We loaded up the car yesterday and headed to the beach for the first time this summer. I was in a great mood for several reasons, the most important being I actually looked good in my bathing suit. I figured either I lost some weight or the Lycra in my two piece has finally given up. Either way I was looking better than I had in a while. We grabbed some beverages, trashy magazines, and sunblock before finally arriving.

Upon unloading our things we began trekking down the beach. We finally settled on a nice warm patch. I went in for a dip and was horrified at the amounts of trash littering the beach. Everything from cigarettes to beer cans and plastic wrappers. GROSS! That's what trash cans are for people!!! Besides not having respect for the beach, some poor animal could eat it or get cut by it and get seriously injured. Add that to the fact someone actually pitched a tent next to us that said "Gay at the beach." Really? You didn't think the fact you pranced around in the sand sporting a banana hammock wasn't a loud enough indicator?

Then there was insult to injury. I clearly understand that I am no supermodel. I do, however, take care to wear attire appropriate for my size and age and groom accordingly. Apparently, others do not feel that way. I saw more hairy backs, overweight individuals in bikinis, and speedos being eaten by bellies and butt cheeks than I care too EVER see in my lifetime. When I say overweight I mean grossly overweight not the occasional pudge that haunts the population. There are coverups and bathing suit solutions people!!! No one benefits from ill fitting clothes and least of all from ill fitting bathing suits. You don't need to be a size 0 to wear a 2 piece, as I am not and have never been. Tankinis cover a multitude of sins. Wax or shave, but for god sakes do something to all that hair everywhere. Chewbacca was jealous dear friends....jealous I say.

The final straw was watching a gay congregation of men giggle and spray sunblock in their swim trunks. That's enough sun and people watching for today. I'm outta here.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

ha ha ha

Dreams are so funny. I had a dream last night about my ex boyfriend. He was a musician and sort of a bohemian. Very relaxed and laid back. He used to work at Starbucks. Awful breakup.

Anyhow, in my dream I was in the coffee shop and bought my usual. He was there working (this would make it more than 8 years there.) We were cordial and then he pointed to my finger. I was all non-chalant about it....like oh this. I had this monster engagement ring on.....I mean HUGE. Oh yeah that. My fiance gave that to me. Gotta go. Then I walked out and got into a range rover. His gaping jaw was the last of the dream.

I actually woke up laughing. The look on his face was just priceless. I am not the nasty vindictive type. I would never have the nerve to do that to someone. Dreaming it was pretty darn wonderful though. The things we dream of............

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Liberation at last

I hate to go to work and have "fake" relationships. You know the kind. You sugar-coat the truth and smile politely even though the work is sub-par. Well....that's soooooo not me. Nevertheless, I do try to excercise some tact and decency when trying to give criticism. I figure I like when people tell me the truth even if it's not what I want to hear. There is nothing good about thinking your work is good and the big boss comes in and gives you the Look. The what the hell were you thinking look.

With this in mind, I recently had a new boss walk into the picture. Being the independent thinker and rebellious person that I am, our interactions had been not great. She made some unprofessional comments about my work. Rather than talk to me about it, she voiced it to the remainder of the staff, and I was pretty pissed off. I tried to remain calm. Am I really hearing this in my head? What is the context? What can I do about this. I decided my best course of action was to just sit her down and let it out.

This morning I asked her to step into the office so we could speak. I had made notes and done some breathing exercises to focus my mind and such. I addressed the issues and braced my self for her intense reaction. To my surprise, she was actually dismayed at how her behavior had been received/interpreted. She apologized and we were able to actually discuss business without either of our egos getting squelched.

I am normally one who prefers to work with men because they are more straight forward and less likely to back stab and gossip. I was impressed by how well she was able to handle what was discussed and her ability to take it as simply rectifying a business relationship. Wow.....the female perception has just been enhanced for me. Let's just hope she's not secretly plotting my death.

Saturday, June 02, 2007


When Baxter and I got back from my dad's house, I noticed something peculiar. He was scatching an awful lot. I got him out of the car and did a careful inspection only to find his roll in the mud turned into a roll in some fleas. eeewwwwwwwww.....

I scrubbed him raw put some flea medicine on him and thought that was the end of it.


All I have to say is I just sprayed my house down with some chemical that smelled a lot like Raid. I can't step on my carpet and just finished bleaching the hell out of everything I own. I mean does it take a couple of hours for the colony to sprout??? I swear---car, tub, medicine, kennel; in that order less than 2 hours, every surface or washable fabric doused in bleach, and I spotted some 4 hours later. I mean Baxter has never ever had fleas and is on medicine too. I am perplexed.

If I never post again I have inhaled funky smelling flea powder/spray and died. Send help immediately and wear a protective body suit.

p.s. I am so disgusted I just might spray the house in a protective body suit again just to be on the safe side. ew,ew,ew,ew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!