life seen thru the eyes of a neurotic 20 something gal in search of something, nothing, and everything....but not all at once...I think.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

new digs

Yesterday I went to the store and tried on several different shoes. Lately my tootsies have been hurting post running and I did not want to lose momentum now that I've finally gotten myself into a steady workout groove.

They say when you meet the "one" you just know. Well, the second I put these shoes on, I knew they were meant to be. I actually jogged in the store like a fool. I mean I wanted to make sure they would be ok and all when I wore them to run. Except for the fact that they are NOT pink, they are simply fabulous. I broke them in last night and muddied them up immediately. Everyone knows you're not a real runner until your shoes are all dirty. It's like earning a badge in girl scouts or something. My feet felt amazing and the rest of my legs just flipping burned like hell because I couldn't feel my legs working overtime.

How awesome is that?

Sunday, April 06, 2008


Last night I went out with some friends that flew in from St. Louis. We trekked it up to the SkyBar where the music was jamming and the drinks were flowing. One of my girls and I went to the balcony to cool off. On top of the building patio, I sat on a lush couch and looked out over the city skyline. I have to say, with a cold beverage in my hand, great friends and the open sky I felt pretty damn satisfied.

I have an enviable life these days in spite of the everyday drama. I am grateful I still have the ability to see it.

Friday, April 04, 2008

why I like him

For months, my closest friends and I have been "involved" in the habits of a peculiar man I started psuedo-dating late last fall. He's done me wrong. He's done me right and all sorts of other things in between (get your mind outta the gutter for once!). I go back and forth whether I should let him be in my world or not.

This morning, after several days of heated family drama involving one of my brothers, I sort of melted down. My dad and I had been arguing and not speaking for days. To be honest, we both said some things in the heat of the moment that got out of control and I was really hurt and upset. I called the boy and we were talking about the whole situation and I started to cry. I mean not a tear...all out sniffles and choked up. First of all, I don't cry much but when I do, it's like a flood and I can't stop. I get angry at myself because in my family only babies cry. At my age, I am certainly old enough to not be so consumed with emotion. It was awful and I couldn't stop. He just listened and comforted me. Then he tried to make some lame jokes in an attempt to get my mind off everything, which only made it more intense. Finally, I managed a giggle and before I knew it I was wiping my tears and laughing at his silly jabs. I apologized for the meltdown at literally 5 am. I mean what kind of person has histerics at that hour but me?

He just sighed and said something like don't you know....that's what I'm here for.

And I melted all over again. I mean who says that to someone anymore?

That's precisely why I want to be with him and away from him all the time. Intense. 'Nuff said.