Beach atrocities

We loaded up the car yesterday and headed to the beach for the first time this summer. I was in a great mood for several reasons, the most important being I actually looked good in my bathing suit. I figured either I lost some weight or the Lycra in my two piece has finally given up. Either way I was looking better than I had in a while. We grabbed some beverages, trashy magazines, and sunblock before finally arriving.

Upon unloading our things we began trekking down the beach. We finally settled on a nice warm patch. I went in for a dip and was horrified at the amounts of trash littering the beach. Everything from cigarettes to beer cans and plastic wrappers. GROSS! That's what trash cans are for people!!! Besides not having respect for the beach, some poor animal could eat it or get cut by it and get seriously injured. Add that to the fact someone actually pitched a tent next to us that said "Gay at the beach." Really? You didn't think the fact you pranced around in the sand sporting a banana hammock wasn't a loud enough indicator?

Then there was insult to injury. I clearly understand that I am no supermodel. I do, however, take care to wear attire appropriate for my size and age and groom accordingly. Apparently, others do not feel that way. I saw more hairy backs, overweight individuals in bikinis, and speedos being eaten by bellies and butt cheeks than I care too EVER see in my lifetime. When I say overweight I mean grossly overweight not the occasional pudge that haunts the population. There are coverups and bathing suit solutions people!!! No one benefits from ill fitting clothes and least of all from ill fitting bathing suits. You don't need to be a size 0 to wear a 2 piece, as I am not and have never been. Tankinis cover a multitude of sins. Wax or shave, but for god sakes do something to all that hair everywhere. Chewbacca was jealous dear friends....jealous I say.

The final straw was watching a gay congregation of men giggle and spray sunblock in their swim trunks. That's enough sun and people watching for today. I'm outta here.