The big 25

I knew today was going to be tough. After all I am turning 25. I had a baby shower and numerous events to attend in spite of being the birthday girl and to my dismay I had a shitty birthday.

At the baby shower of the year, my best friend and I suffered through the polite conversation and fake smiles we always afford to people we hate. Basically every evil and spiteful gal we had the unfortunate pleasure of going to school with was at her shower thrown by her unsuspecting inlaws. A nice gesture in many ways but absolute torture to the guest of honor and myself. I sat there listening to the hens chit chat about their upcoming nuptials, babies, new homes, etc and felt more and more like the lone ranger of single woman tribe. I've never thought that I wouldn't get married....just not now. I sank lower and lower each passing hour until at last we left.

I went to a few other events and each time...no boyfriend? This was then followed by a pathetic stare and the tongue clucking. I mean when the hell did being single become so similar to having leprosy?! I climbed into my car and all the way home to Houston cried. I have never felt so bad about not having a significant other. All the talk and looks just got to me. I used to be proud of being independent and confident. Today that image was snickered and frowned upon in such a way I was truly hurt. I had never seen my behavior as apalling as these people did.

I hate going home to that town. I hate that female independence there means you do not want a family or husband. Most of all, I hate that it ruined my birthday and made me feel like shit on this such a glorious day to celebrate.