The relief pitcher is MIA

Last night was a restless night. Didn't sleep well at all. I have a tendency to be somewhat of an insomniac when the stress levels rise. The worst part is looking like you're asleep but your mind is still really working. Who is going to fill this and who is going to do that. I am the worst at letting things just be. I get all worked up inside and start to become this monster of a person. I kick into overdrive and it is get it done or get the hell out of my way. I am a self professed overacheiver. I am the best and take whatever steps are necessary to be #1. When the stuff hits the fan, either step up or move outta the way. There are no room for excuses....end of story.

While I realize not everyone is like me, I think sometimes why I am I like this. Why can't I just say someone else can do it? Why do I always feel the need to rise to the occassion? Can I not just let someone else take the responsibility? I feel like I am still 13 trying to make sense of the world. Mom is gone now doing her own thing with someone else and the wash has to get done. Dinner must be made. Homework is due at 8 am. Dad is working and there are two brothers that need to be watched. There is no one else to get this done. I feel trapped and angry. When does someone come in as my relief pitcher at the bottom of the ninth? In the words of the Shib... I get why people medicate.