ramblings

life seen thru the eyes of a neurotic 20 something gal in search of something, nothing, and everything....but not all at once...I think.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

New strain of man announced

Attention fellow single females: a new strain of man recently surfaced. As a woman, I feel it is my solemn duty to warn you. This new strain is an odd cross between macho and gay femininity. I call this the girly macho man. The girly macho man is testosterone driven and a "sensitive" human being as well. The two personalities do not necessarily fit well together and can often lead to one extreme or the other. Let us observe one particular case.

Last week in the midst of chaos and extreme tension, the girly macho man made an appearance. Granted this was the not the first time I had come into close vicinity with this odd species. About two months ago, I had to reprimand an employee. I pulled him into my office to have a "discussion" regarding the severity of his behavior and its possible immediate consequences. The response was something I, as a woman, was completely unprepared for. He began to sniffle and the sniffle turned into tears. The tears turned into sobs and I stood there simply flabbergasted. Oh my God...he's crying. I tried to comfort him and after many apologies, he assured me he would be on top of it. I felt bad at first. Am I so callused I can't handle seeing a grown man cry? I shook it off and chalked it up to stress and the like.

This week with the stress of the corporate visit compounding the entire staff, I must say I was somewhat brash. I didn't want complaining or slacking. I was working my ass off and I needed everyone else to follow my lead without excuse. This particular male, who is often fluffing his feathers and strutting around like a peacock proclaiming his perfection, was complaining about something or other. When he asked my opinion, I replied I don't want to know what's achy or hurting or bruised or how tired you are. I am tired, achy, bruised, and put in 20 more hours than you and I'm not bitching. I obviously rubbed him the wrong way because he proceeded to shoot me dirty looks the remainder of the morning. He finally walked up to me and stated he had something to say. It was difficult and he believed in the "open door" policy I had established in our workplace. Then the tears started. You hurt my feelings. You made me feel like I wasn't a valuable employee and the tears again turned into sobs. I apologized and explained the stress on myself and the team, etc., etc.

This particular example is accompanied by the infamous boyfriend who was more sensitive than a PMSing woman. He could hang with the boys but got his feelings hurt when I sat across from him and not next to him at a social function/gathering. There are several more examples I could give to validate this new species, but I digress. (I love that--I digress!!) What the hell happened to men who were men and didn't cry at the sign of a broken nail? Do they no longer exist? Have we finally brainwashed the male species? Are we a society filled with super sensitive cryababies that indulge themselves as much as women do?

Perfect case in point is the metrosexual---the modern male who is unafraid of waxing, facials, and braves the mani/pedi without flinching. These straight men are praised and women are both impressed while perplexed. Regardless, I am fed up. Stop being a pussy and suck it up. I don't cry when someone eats my wheaties and neither should you. Men should be men and leave the crying to women or better yet, newborns. Be gruff and only show your sensitivity when it is necessary to win the gal or show your human side. Refrain from crying at the drop of a hat. Women beware of these men. I fear their sensitive/macho tendincies can only further hamper your ability to function as the girly girly you are meant to be. Further research is in progress and I encourage you to inform me of such occurrances so we can fully investigate this species :)

3 Comments:

Blogger The Shib said...

My god the stories I could tell you.

Seriously though, dont make me be the man. I hate to be the man. Its not necessary.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Ryan said...

What the hell happened to men who were men and didn't cry at the sign of a broken nail?

They moved to Australia.

Hence the term give to the male species down here... blokes.

(And the female equivalent... sheilas).

Love your blog! LOL

10:36 PM  
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6:27 AM  

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