Yahoo set me free

Okay so not just Yahoo. I guess I should have been slightly more specific. Wednesday afternoon I was being a lazy bum and playing online, etc. I have been trying to deal with the new year. I know, I know--the new year started 20 days ago. Since then I have been contemplating old relationships, people, my career, and life in general. I was feeling guilty about a lot of things to be perfectly honest. Why are there so many unfinished affairs in my life?

After much soul searching via the Shib and several nights of martinis and tears I came to a conclusion. I need to learn to live with what has happened. I gave the most I could give in each situation given the then current knowledge, perspective, etc. Of course, hindsight is 20-20 and I wish I could change it but we all know I can't. So, I decided to embrace the future and forgive myself for not being perfect in someone else's eyes but also for not being perfect in my own. My satisfaction came when I least expected it on Wednesday. I logged onto my Messenger and up popped my past---my long distance ex and part of those past insecurities were staring me in the face. What do I do? I DID NOTHING. I didn't IM. I didn't cry. I didn't do a damn thing and that in itself was wonderful, precious, and freeing in itself. Baby steps, I can admit. But damn it is sure good to know there is light at the end of the tunnel eventually.