I have no shame left

For a couple of weeks now, I've been mending what can only be diagnosed as a broken heart. I thought making busy and not talking about it would make it better. I only proved it doesn't. I've been too embarrassed to admit the following: I am heartbroken once again.

It's weird how attached you can get to someone. I mean it was a mere 3 months. I don't even know why we aren't talking. What I do know is I am that absolutley lame girl pining for a man who can't even pick up a phone to let me know what the hell is going on. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate all my friends bashing him. They've all said he's not worth it. Don't waste your tears. And yes, if you can believe it, I shed a few in the privacy of my bed while hiding under the covers. I didn't even want the dog to see he got to me.

I think I might have heard it all these past few weeks to be honest. I know all of you are so incredibly right. I appreciate your devotion to cheering me up....I really do. But it still doesn't make the things he did right disappear. In fact, it makes them even more apparent. Only he will understand "special left" and smile when I say it's an "Aimee free day."

I hate that someone can make me feel this way. I hate that he hasn't returned my message from over 3 weeks ago. I especially hate that he wanders into my thoughts at the most random times during the day. What I really hate is I actually thought this one was different. And, yet again, he turned out to be nothing but the same line of tired tricks I've retired over the past 8 years. I mean if he just wasn't that into me why couldn't he just say it?

Now that feels better even if another soul in the world reads this. I may be about a few inches from the bottom of the barrel in the relationship department. Definitely no room for shame or pride....go figure.