The proof is in the pudding
It is safe to say that I, much like Miranda Hobbs of Sex and the City fame, can be a little cynical about men. I sometimes feel like all men are only out for sex and that most men use their potential to be an ass as often as they can. The latter of the two I found to be startling true about even those men I held in the highest regard.
Today, my best friend from college, called. He recently moved back to Texas from the Windy City this past week and I WAS ecstatic. While in conversation, I heard his mom in the background and said hey, tell your mom I said hello. He did. Blah, blah, blah. I asked what she was doing (his mom) and he replied." thinking about how fat your ass was in those jeans you wore the last time she saw you."
SILENCE.....DEAD SILENCE.
His mother responded quickly with that what the hell were you thinking, thank god. I had to pick up my jaw off the damned floor. While good natured joking is common in our relationship, we have never crossed that line--EVER. I mean who the hell says that? I mean for god sakes, I know better than anyone just how big my ass is. I know it's not ever going to fit into a size 2 pair of jeans but do you have to say that? As if women, primarily myself, aren't self conscious enough.
To make matters worse, I just couldn't bounce back. Aw, sweetie you know I was joking, right? What was that I replied. Couldn't hear you since my ass was obscuring my ability to hear you. Insult to injury was compounded by the simple words "but I like big butts." Is it enough to say my feelings were tremendously hurt that he would even joke about that. My brothers pick on me even to this day, but never about weight or they way we look. There are some lines no one should cross, and listen up men..picking on a woman and her body is like walking onto the battle field. She may be a stick but don't joke about her being fat. She may have small breasts but it is never ok to say that. The only people allowed to utter words like those I heard today are your best girlfriends who have seen you puke while drunk, held your hand during the most traumatic of breakups, and told you with all the love in the world that you look simply amazing with your mascara running down your face. Proof all men use their ability to be an ass every chance they get. Shameful...and very sad.
posted by mandy @ 7:54 PM
2 Comments:
I suppose the quip would've been funnier if it was said in context to something both of you had mentioned earlier in your conversation, but I guess by the awkward cricket-chirping silence the quip was something out of left-field.
I think any jibe on any sacred topic said in the right way and in the right context is a great way of seeing whether a woman's fun or not, but it's important that it's known as a funny jab rather than a taunt, otherwise World War III can start!
I know my balls have been busted a few times for joking on things out of context, but women are quite forgiving... after several weeks!
But I like women who can do what I like to call the tango talk: i.e. they turn the joke back on the person who inflicted it, because when the "dance" is done right magic happens.
Using the above as an example, a response I would've used (if I were you) would've been something like:
HIM: ... Thinking about how fat your ass was in those jeans you wore the last time she saw you.
YOU: She must've had me confused with your's, because I hear your ass is so big dealers are jealous at the amount of crack you've got! (ROFLMAO)
Then if he continues to talk about how fat your ass is you can continue to taunt him by staying on your tangent like...
YOU: You know, I reckon when the cops throw you in prison after finding out how much crack you've got you're going to be nicknamed 'tandem' in there.
HIM: Tandem??
YOU: Yep - with the size of your ass two guys can have a ride at the same time! (ROFLMAO)
Okay, now I'm beginning to have too much fun.
Outta here.
;o)
I can see where that would have been a great way to combat the comment. But honestly I was so damn flabberghasted and in shock I couldn't think. I can laugh at myself but I don't joke with anyone but my closest girlfriends and a very special gay man about the size of my ass.
For God sakes...pardon the vulgarity, but it is the equivalent of knowing you have a small penis and your girlfriend, or best guy friend, pointing it out. Do you really think it's something to joke about, no matter what tone it has?
Again, I can agree that if the right chemistry is there a banter of such proportions can be quite a turn on...that's what attracted me to the last relationship I had. But he, unlike the college buddy, had enough sense to play fair on the field using things he knew would strike up fun without crossing the line.
The college buddy has always known I am not so confident in my appearance and especially my womanly proportions. Knowing this has always been a sore spot for me, why would any good friend joke about it?
Call me a baby, but my feelings are hurt and I need some time to cool down.
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