the truth about childbirth and the birds and the bees

It was a slow day at work and my assistant and I are having a conversation about her pregnancy. She is in her first trimester and excited. It's her second. So she, another assistant, and I are talking and the other assistant starts discussing the actual events leading up to the birth. I know some of this, I mean after all I took sex ed in high school and I have had a go in the bedroom affairs. But the gory details of the actual act...I had never known til that day.

See, a long time ago when I was like 16, I saw my then pregnant sister in law deal with the most awful labor and I thought there is no way in hell I want to do that. I didn't see the birth, but that was sufficient enough then to make me extra careful of any activity I participated in. In addition, my dad was pretty much my only parent and I had 3 brothers. Not only did we not ever discuss any female happenings like this, talking about sex, sexuality and the like were never open for discussion.

To my horror, they gave me the full monty on childbirth...the enema, the real pain, the epistot-something or other, the hemrroids, the tearing from your who-ha to your ass... I could go on. If ever I was convinced that motherhood was not for me, it was then. I mean when you have sex you always know pregnancy could result if you are not careful, etc, etc. But no one, and I mean no one, ever tells you, or maybe it was just me, the agony and horror of pregnancy and birth. I was flabbergasted to be honest and disgusted. Then they tell me, but oh it's so worth it when you have that bundle of joy. BULLSHIT...I call that bluff mo-fo. Like hell. If ever that unfortunate event happens to me, I will pray for a 9 month coma and call it a day. I have realized that I will live if I don't have kids EVER. They say I will change my mind...and I say never. That's gross and just....gross. My mind is made up. And for future reference, telling single 20 something career woman the truth about THAT simply encourages them to never have kids.