Break up rituals of the twisted

I am going to put a disclaimer before I type this. I know this is the most immature thing I have probably ever done. Despite this, I hope you will continue to read on.

Every once in awhile, especially after a bad breakup, a gal can get herself all upset. She feels fat and throws herself a HUGE pity party. She sulks and eventually, she peels herself off of the pavement, throws away the Ben and Jerry's, and gets back to the gym and life and general. I am sad to say, I am one of those gals from time to time. Anyhow, no matter how cool, fun, smart, etc. I have the capacity to be, I always feel like crap. I imagine on the bad days that the new ex has a new gal...size nothing, huge boobs, bubbly persona---basically perfection in every way a woman could be. It's dumb. I know that she, who ever she might be, is probably a very nice person who feels the way I do about my thighs, etc. But I can't help it.

So, the other day a good friend of mine who knows the ex was talking to me---casual girl talk. She mentioned he was not so great and I asked what was going on...I was curious. Well, to my happiness, new relationship problems. I know--IMMATURE. We kinda talk about it a little and, well, the curiousity was about to kill me. I had to know what she looked like. I asked, and she, in normal good girl fashion, asked are you sure you want to know? Of course I don't but I need to know. It's like some sick break up ritual. I have to know if you moved up or down a step. I step up is always good for them and a marker for what maybe I was lacking...I dunno.

So, she tells me....and it is awful. She's super short, overweight, jacked up teeth, unattractive, and so not smart. WONDERFUL. I have considered that the words uttered could possibly be false. I have looked at my friend's track record and the truth is I will not know for sure until I see her. However, in light of this information, I felt instantly better about myself. I have taken into account my own personal and physical flaws as well. I am not a size nothing, but I am smart and I know how to laugh at myself and life. I have some nice physical attributes that I have come to love and others I loathe. But I am 5'8 and have a set of nice straight teeth without braces. I know it's dumb but damn it, I don't key cars or get all psycho on anyone I date. I have to have some sort of way of cheering myself up from time to time when I feel like crap cause I'm not dating anyone and am nowhere even close.

Let's just say, there is a God after all :)