Sing already damn it!!

As long as I live I will never understand men, but particularly the last one I dated.

I fell into a peaceful sleep after my girl and I had this heart to heart across time zones. It was definitely what we both needed to get us off the ledge yesterday. I found a fabulous dress and 3 too many incredibly sexy heels. I was feeling sane again with my number one fan, Baxter, happily gnawing on a rawhide bone in my bed.

Some hours later the phone rang. Thus began the downward spiral.

I answered it in a sleep stupor only to hear him say she's not going to answer the phone again. He realizes I have in fact pick up, and there is dead air for what feels like an hour but is more like 10 seconds.

After a nasty exchange, I just hung up.

How dare you call me and act so righteous! Let me count the ways you've broken my heart asshole for they are many.

And today I have fallen back off the wagon. I ate my way thru everything I could find. I feel sick and pathetic. Clearly, I still have issues concerning him that I have not worked on.

They say it's not over til the fat lady sings. Can somebody poke that bitch so I can get this over with? I have better things to do with my life.