I may be going crazy

So, the last two nights I've had some really crazy dreams. The first was just awful. I, who am already terrified of marriage, had a dream about my wedding day. Not the typical happy picture of a white gown and a wonderful day. In this dream I was getting prepped, hair and makeup, the usual girly things. People are swarming around me talking, giggling, smiling. Someone is curling my hair and all I can hear is my own voice saying why am I doing this? My voice is booming and only I can hear it. It continues to say hello there...the cold feet have not stopped. This is a BAD IDEA. Of course, I say nothing. I get to the church and the wedding party is going down the aisle and my dad is standing next to me ready to give me away. Right before the doors open to walk I turn to my dad and say," Daddy.....I can't do it. I can't get married. Don't make me do it...please!!!" At this point, I break into tears and my poor dad, looks at me with this face. His face is saying I can't believe I just spent all this money and you don't want to even get married! He of course says, "Well sweetie you don't have to if you don't want to. Daddy would never make you do anything you don't want." It was awful...and then I woke up really upset.

Bad dream #2: In this dream, my family was there and we were in the country. It was so beautiful and we were having such a grand time. We were on top of this hill that looked down into a valley. Everyone started running down the hill and at the foot of the hill stood Paul, my older brother. He was in his military uniform and everyone was hugging him. I started bawling. My dad was standing there and I was so excited to see him. It has been....2 years now since I have seen him. We are not speaking in reality today because of a personal affair. So, I am jumping up and down and so happy to see him. Tears are running down my face and he refuses to see me. I am standing on this hill just sobbing. I am walking towards him and he is walking away and will not talk to me. At this point I woke up and am, of course, dripping with tears and sadness so deep my chest actually hurts.

After two nights of this, I do believe I might be losing what marbles I had left. I wonder just what other painful scenario I will concoct tonight.